My Night Out

My friend wrote this story on her blog so I copied it. The funniest thing...

My hilarious story of the weekend... so funny. We went to Mackies for dinner Sunday night. Mackies is an American style restaurant in Aarhus right near the big church. It's decorated like a wanna-be Applebees with stuff all over the place and they serve pizza like a wanna-be California Pizza Kitchen. Anyways, they have a "rule" that you can't eat your pizzas or hamburgers with a fork an knife like Danish people do. American restaurant, American customs... "Oh, isn't that funny we ate our overpriced pizza with our hands. ha ha ha ha", says the Danish person.

This is the story:Four of us ordered pizza, including me, and one of us ordered salad. My lack of functioning front teeth means I cannot bite a pizza, I knew I would have to cut it into a piece to get it into my mouth. We had mentioned this to the waitress when we ordered and she said, "No, cutting the pizza is not allowed." We explained my teeth situation... "big scary pogo-stick, concrete floor, ghetto wire holding teeth in place". The waitress was pretty adamant, "No, cutting the pizza is not allowed." We didn't think much of it, she left, we waited for our food.

The food arrived and my salad friend was the only one with a fork and knife. So, like a good mommy, she started to cut my pizza for me so I could eat. WHOA! Waitress is now freaking out.. "NO CUTTING PIZZA!!" "I told you you can't cut the pizza!!!" "STOP CUTTING THE PIZZA!" Short of jumping up and down she was having a full on temper-tantrum ...Salad friend keeps cutting the pizza. Angry waitress is now near tears, "That fork and knife is not for the pizza!" "You have to stop right now!!" ...Salad friend is now cutting faster while explaining it's our pizza... We inform the waitress again that I am physically incapable of biting the pizza. I tell her I will eat it with my hands but I have to get it into small pieces first. Salad friend is still cutting...

The friendly atmosphere quickly disappears... :) The waitress now officially hates us and every other American in the world. We are telling her it's our pizza, it's no big deal, that I have broken teeth... She is saying I should have ordered something that came with a fork then. This is seriously the most hilarious thing EVER. I'm laughing so hard and I can't believe that our waitress is SO UPSET! We told her to send the manager out thinking he would be a reasonable person. Nope, he's crazy too. ...but by now Salad Friend is finished cutting my pizza and I am showing him my willingness to eat it with my fingers.. He rambles on for a good minute in Danish. (A full minute of angry Danish is a lot..) He stops and then we tell him we don't speak Danish. He mutters some English and eventually leaves us and we finish eating. :) ...and we got a different waitress.

TOO FUNNY. I still can't believe this happened. We are plannning another dinner to Mackies with every American we can find, we will bring our own forks and on the count of three we will cut our pizza into tiny pieces. We will put a piece of pizza on the fork, hold it high in the air and yell SKOAL. ...then we'll probably turn and run from the restaurant before that crazy manager comes out.